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When you touched my skin it cracked wide open
and you delved inside, swam with my blood,
danced with my demons and swept them away
like dusty cobwebs cluttering my bones.
You slid your fingers under my eyelids
and you pushed inside, embraced my thoughts,
scraping away my pain with gentle fervour
and pulling away strands of my thoughtlessness.
You stepped through my eyelashes
sweeping them aside like floating curtains
with your king-stride, you strolled among the fields
pushing my hair from your face with angel's hands.
When you breathed through my fingertips
I knew you were no human, no earthly being
with no solid ground beneath your devil's feet.
I could not move, you had enough motion
for the two of us, as you danced through me.
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WendyinFlight Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2006
I think it flows in its own way, and whatever way that is REALLY worked. This is amazing, for all of your weird dark words, this came out really powerful and I love it.
alexishelmsley Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2006
wow... very interesting.

I love the imagery, but i dont like the lack of flowingness, as it made the poem difficult to follow... (hope that makes sense)
The-Avocatore Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2006
My complaint is that the narrative doesn't follow a set path, or even a fractured pattern. It goes from the very intimate (blood) and out which doesn't make as much sense as it would if the poem went deeper. THink about progression.
All the angel/devil references seem a bit close to teen poetry, but I like that the title carries heavier connotations. I did think fever at the first line, with the cracking skin.

Anywho - how's it going?
quentinwrites Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
It's going good, my dad's home from the East Med tomorrow so I'm on a mattress at my mum's right now. ;)
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Submitted on
August 2, 2006
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