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Everything reminds me of you. I can't bear to change the sheets
because your pillowcase still holds your scent. I inhale fiercely,
wanting this intake of breath to last forever, it's all I have left of you.
Everything I view in this house bears your imprint, your face.
A tie hanging over a door handle taunts me, and I know
I'll never get rid of the memories and the longing.

I walked outside today and remembered that every footstep I took
was another footstep taken without you. I went about my daily business
and remembered; we ate there - we sat there - we embraced there.
Walking past that building nearly killed me because I knew you were inside
so close to where I stood but I could never come inside.
I know I'm not welcome any more, so I just walk on and hold my tears.

I'm afraid to read, lest one of your markers should fall from the page.
I'm afraid to open any drawer or cupboard in case your things are there,
or worse, some gift or old Valentine's card lays in waiting to crush me once more.
I don't want to clean; some mad, sad part of me wants to keep you here
those stray hairs in the shower, your teastain on the table, can help me pretend
that you're not gone, only away, and coming back to love me once again.

And worst, and best, and hardest, easiest and everything in between
is this little face, so innocent and pure, full of unconditional love -
yet your face blazes through his; his eyes are yours, his cheeks, his lips.
He is my life, my everything, yet my biggest reminder of your love,
as he grows so shall your likeness, my love and my pain.
And through him I will never be able to let go, never be free of you.
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meeden Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2007
A very emotional piece that flows into the heart and feels your hurt. Hope things are getting better :silentkitty:
ctrebel Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2006
You can do it...I know exactly how you feel. I know what you've experienced. I know all those little things that you effect you. I've been there and I've felt them but now I am ok. It made me stronger and able to cope. I'm a single mom and have been for three years and I've made it this far. If you only knew. YOU choose your road now. It will work out in time. We are all here for you.
primowalker Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
I know the heartache you are feeling. You feel as if things will never be right again, but I assure you, they will, but it won't be easy. You'll find, as time goes on, that you are stronger, much stronger, than you ever realized.

This is beautifully written. I can feel everything you feel and see everything you see.
quentinwrites Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for your kind words.
primowalker Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
You are very welcome!
devilicious Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2006  Professional Photographer

god i feel your pain :depressed: and the fact of having your son look like his father and all that you say about how that affects letting go - and how hard it is when you can't let go b/c you have to share Orion. :( i don't know what to say except i am online a lot and note me whenever you want :heart:

you're a good mommy. you're a good person. you will survive this and you will see joy again. time heals.


i know there is nothing to say to truly comfort - its just about coping at this time.
quentinwrites Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. :heart:
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Submitted on
June 15, 2006
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